📢SCAPEGOAT

If you’ve ever been the scapegoat in someone else’s story, you develop a certain awareness—a radar.

And once it’s activated, there is zero tolerance for it.

I know this deeply.

After my first divorce, I was made out to be the problem by people who didn’t know the truth or understand narcissistic abuse.

By people in the church who were clueless but eager for something to gossip about.

By people who exaggerated some things and completely fabricated others to create a narrative that made them feel justified.

Biblically, we know exactly what this is: bearing false witness (Exodus 20:16).

It’s not misunderstanding.

It’s not “concern.”

It’s sin.

And let’s be honest—why would most people go after the lying aggressor that you're afraid of upsetting when you can go after the gentle, loving woman who was willing to give, serve, and sacrifice for anyone…

The woman with no parents, no siblings, and no husband to defend her?

But God.

Yahweh is a Father to the fatherless.

And He has always been my Defender.

He never failed me then—and He has never failed me since.

Not only did my Abba redeem me and my children from that season, but He blessed us abundantly. He also gave me discernment—a deep, Spirit-led awareness of the scapegoat spirit and how it operates.

In Scripture, the scapegoat was a symbolic figure—an innocent party upon whom blame was placed so others could avoid accountability (Leviticus 16).

In modern systems—families, churches, workplaces—this pattern shows up when someone refuses to own their shortcomings and instead projects blame onto the safest, most capable, or most giving person in the room.

I’ve seen it more than once.

At one job, I noticed someone in leadership was falling short in their responsibilities—and they tried to make me the scapegoat for it.

The moment I recognized it in my spirit, I was done.

I walked away—no regrets, no explanations, no chaos.

I’ve had others attempt the same thing.

And every single time, the Lord protected me… and blessed me for obeying Him.

Here’s the truth:

I deeply love to serve and help others.

I also love a peaceful, drama-free life.

And I have worked hard—with God—for this peace.

I will protect it.

I will not be anyone’s scapegoat.

Not for their immaturity.

Not for their lack of integrity.

Not for their unwillingness to take responsibility.

As a trauma-informed practitioner and a mama bear, I understand the behaviors and motives behind scapegoating. I know how unsafe systems operate. I know how blame is used to maintain control.

And I will not tolerate it—for myself or for my family.

Neither will my Abba.

He is my Defender.

He is my Protector.

He is my Provider and Redeemer.

I carry the spirit of the Lamb—gentle, humble, surrendered to God.

But I also carry the spirit of the Lion—bold, discerning, unmovable in truth.

Do not mistake my kindness & quietness for passivity! The Mama bear in me is fierce and I'm not afraid!

And I am nobody’s scapegoat!

If you have ever been made out to be the villain in a toxic person’s narrative…

If you’ve been blamed for things that were never yours to carry…

If you’ve been targeted because of your goodness, your competence, or your willingness to love…

Know this: The Lord sees.

And when you trust Him, He will show up.

He will defend you.

He will protect you.

He will provide for you.

He will redeem what was distorted.

You don’t always need to clear up every detail & false narrative —God will do that.

Your job is to walk in truth, wisdom, and obedience.

You are not alone.

You are not crazy.

And you are not the scapegoat.

You are covered. 🕊️🦁

If this applies to you and you need professional support to come alongside you in your healing journey, who has also been there, take that first step by reaching out to me to set up a time to discuss what that would look like and begin your BREAKTHROUGH to taking your life back and become the woman God created you to be. 

Connie Wunderly, BSN, RN, NC-BC, BC-MHC

Board Certified Trauma Informed Nurse Coach

Christian Mental Health Coach (American Academy of Christian Counselors) 

Certified Narcissistic Abuse Specialist

Certified Somatic Experiencing, Positive Psychology, & Brainspotting Practitioner

Someone Who Has been There and Overcome

Need help?  

connie@overcomersinhim.com 

1:1 Coaching/Mentorship 

Self-Paced Online Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Breakthrough Program

Monthly Membership for those who want the online Breakthrough program and the once a month Group Coaching Q & A, but aren’t at a place for 1:1 coaching at this time. 

Follow me on social media for free education & encouragement.