Life can be a series of unimaginable challenges that test the very essence of our being. Such was the case for me, as I emerged from a childhood filled with abuse and neglect, only to spend 25 years trapped in a toxic relationship with a narcissist. The complete loss of self-esteem that followed, along with a devastating divorce, left me feeling broken and abandoned, especially since I had no parents or siblings. In the midst of it all, I turned to my church at the time for support, only to find disappointment and heartache. My children and I felt shunned after finally standing up to sin and abuse. However, through these trials and tribulations, I discovered resilience, learned from my mistakes, and rebuilt a life for myself and my children. It is a story of endurance, faith, and the unwavering presence of God by our side, leading us to exactly where we are meant to be today.
1. A Childhood of Abuse and Neglect:
My journey began with a traumatic childhood marked by multiple forms of severe abuse and neglect. These experiences shaped my worldview and left lasting scars on my soul. Growing up in an unsafe environment, I yearned for stability and love, but instead, found myself constantly on edge, waiting for the next crisis. These early wounds would have a profound impact on the journey ahead.
2. 25 Years Trapped with a Narcissist:
Entering into a relationship as a teenager with a narcissist only perpetuated my feelings of distrust. For 25 long and arduous years, I endured emotional and psychological manipulation, losing sight of my own identity in the process. Even with all that I had gone through as a child, I had still believed in my value because of Jesus. But, under the weight of constant criticism, lies, and control, my self-esteem plummeted, leaving me feeling like a shell of the person I once was.
3. A Devastating Divorce and Abandonment from the Church:
When I finally found the courage to break free from the grips of my toxic marriage, I turned to my church for solace and support. In my time of deepest need, however, I felt let down by the very community I had invested so much in. Instead of support, my children and I felt shunned. For the first three weeks after separation, no one from our church checked on us. With no other family and me so devastated that I couldn't eat for three weeks, this left a deep wound in us. The lack of understanding and empathy from our former church community amplified the feelings of isolation and abandonment, further shattering my already fragile spirit.
4. Mistakes, Learning, and Rebuilding:
Amidst the chaos and devastation, I made mistakes and some terrible choices. I stumbled and fell. Initially, it crushed me. However, by clinging to God, I embraced those moments as opportunities to learn and grow. I clung to the Lord with all that I had, sought therapy, read books on the subject, and surrounded myself with a network of support from others who had experienced similar journeys. Through this process, I discovered my own strength and resilience, slowly but surely rebuilding not only my life but also my shattered identity.
5. False Accusations, Betrayal, and the Unwavering Presence of God:
On my path to healing, I encountered false accusations and betrayal from friends I had served and sacrificed for for years. It was a painful lesson to learn, but one that served as a testament to the strength I had developed and the faithfulness of God. In these darkest moments, I leaned on my faith and found solace in the unwavering presence of God. He became my guiding light, leading me through the storm and showing me that I was never truly alone. Through this process, I developed boundaries and a healthier way for relationships. I have been blessed to have some friends since I was a teenager that have been faithful blessings however the Lord has also sent me new relationships.
Conclusion:
Today, I stand tall as an overcomer in Him. The scars from my traumatic past, the devastation of a toxic relationship, and the heartache from a lack of support from my church have all shaped me into the person and coach I am today. I have learned to embrace who I am, to trust in my abilities, and to lean on my faith in God. Through it all, I have come to realize that the trials and tribulations I faced were necessary to bring me to where I am meant to be so that I can serve others the way I do now. Today, I have wonderful, strong healthy relationships, a church that is full of Jesus and love, a career that I love that blesses others, and all of my children & grandchildren are in a good place in their lives. I share my story not only to inspire others who have experienced similar hardships but also to serve as a reminder that no matter how dark life may seem, there is always hope for a brighter tomorrow with the guidance of God.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
Do you need help to become an Overcomer in Him? If so, please reach out to me so we can set up your Discovery Call and find the option that best suits your situation.
Love and blessings!
Nurse Connie, BSN, RN, NC-BC, BC-MHC
Love you
Yes! He gets all the praise forever and ever Amen!
Thank you for sharing this. Your faith in God and your resilience are so inspiring! Truly and Overcomer in Him!!