LET'S CALL IT WHAT IT IS
You know what you call someone who deceives another person to win her heart?
A con man.
You know what you call a man who expects a woman to carry the financial, emotional, household, and family responsibilities while still demanding that she submit to him?
Delusional.
You know what you call a man who intentionally pursues a woman who has survived trauma, rebuilt her life, and is raising her children—only to manipulate her, use her, exploit her, and take advantage of her trust?
A user.
An abuser.
An entitled man-child.
A bully.
Let's stop sugarcoating it.
Let's stop calling manipulation "miscommunication."
Let's stop calling deception "mistakes."
Let's stop telling women they should "submit" to men who refuse to demonstrate the character, integrity, sacrifice, protection, responsibility, and servant leadership that biblical submission was never meant to excuse.
A godly man doesn't need to manipulate a woman into submission.
He earns trust through truth.
He leads through servanthood.
He protects through integrity.
He loves through sacrifice.
He takes responsibility for his own choices.
And when he fails, he doesn't blame her.
He takes accountability.
It's time someone said it.
It's time we call it what it is.
If you deceive, manipulate, exploit, intimidate, bully, and use a woman for your own benefit, you are not demonstrating biblical manhood.
And no woman is obligated to submit to abuse, manipulation, deception, or control.
God never called women to surrender their God-given discernment to someone else's dysfunction.
Real love doesn't require a woman to abandon herself.
Real leadership doesn't demand control.
And real men don't need to destroy a woman's strength to feel powerful.
Ladies, you are not crazy for recognizing what happened to you.
You are not "too independent" because you learned to survive.
You are not rebellious because you finally established boundaries.
And you are not required to submit to someone who continually violates the very trust and covenant they demand from you.
Truth matters.
Accountability matters.
Character matters.
And abuse must be called what it is.
You can forgive someone and still hold them accountable.
You can love someone and still walk away.
You can pray for someone and still protect yourself.
And you can choose to OVERCOME IN HIM.
Because God did not create you to be someone's victim.
He created you to walk in truth, freedom, dignity, wisdom, and purpose.
If this applies to you and you need professional support to come alongside you in your healing journey, who has also been there, take that first step by reaching out to me to set up a time to discuss what that would look like and begin your BREAKTHROUGH to taking your life back and become the woman God created you to be.
Connie Wunderly, BSN, RN, NC-BC, BC-MHC
Bachelor of Ministry
Board Certified Trauma Informed Nurse Coach
Christian Mental Health Coach (American Academy of Christian Counselors)
Certified Narcissistic Abuse Specialist
Certified Somatic Experiencing, Positive Psychology, Rupa Health, & Brainspotting Practitioner
Author
Someone Who Has been There and Overcome
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