Navigating the aftermath of emotional or narcissistic abuse within a family is an incredibly challenging journey, especially when children are involved. This post is a compassionate guide for moms in the Overcomers in Him community who are seeking to help their children heal from such abuse, all while facing the additional struggles of custody battles and attempts to manipulate the children against them.
Please know, I do not speak to this as one who made no mistakes during our journey. I made plenty. And I learned along the way. I come to you as a mom who stumbled, cried, failed, picked myself back up, sought the Lord, learned from my mistakes, and went through my own healing journey and then additional professional training to help other women navigate this difficult but possible journey!
1. Biblical Encouragement:
a. Psalm 34:18 - God's Nearness to the Brokenhearted: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Share this truth with your children, emphasizing that God is a source of comfort and healing.
b. Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a Child: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it." Instill godly values and principles in your children to provide a foundation for their healing journey.
2. Creating a Safe Space:
a. Open Communication: Encourage your children to express their feelings without judgment. Create a safe environment where they feel heard and understood.
b. Professional Support: Seek a trauma informed coach that is also a narcissistic abuse specialist for both yourself and your children. Professional guidance can provide valuable tools for healing and coping.
3. Tips for Custody Battles:
a. Document Everything: Keep a detailed record of interactions with your ex-spouse. This documentation may be useful in legal proceedings.
b. Focus on Stability: Provide a stable and loving environment for your children. Consistency and routine can help them feel secure.
4. Countering Manipulation:
a. Model Healthy Behavior: Demonstrate healthy communication and relationships. Your actions speak louder than words, and your children will learn from your example.
b. Stay Connected: Foster strong connections with your children. Spend quality time together to strengthen your bond.
5. Trusting God's Plan:
a. Jeremiah 29:11 - God's Plans for Hope and a Future: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Trust that God has a plan for you and your children, even in the midst of difficulties.
Conclusion:
Helping children heal from emotional or narcissistic abuse is a challenging but worthwhile endeavor. By grounding your efforts in biblical wisdom, creating a safe space for communication, navigating custody battles with diligence, countering manipulation with positive modeling, and trusting in God's plan, you can guide your children toward a future filled with healing, resilience, and the promise of a hope-filled life in Him. The Overcomers in Him community stands as a pillar of support, ready to offer encouragement and strength as you navigate this challenging journey.
Love & blessings!
Connie, BSN, RN, NC-BC, BC-MHC
Trauma Informed Positive Psychology Nurse Coach & Narcissistic Abuse Specialist
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