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Guarding Our Tongues and Hearts: A Reflection on Proverbs 6:16-19

  • 2 days ago
  • 3 min read

Proverbs 6:16-19 outlines seven things the Lord hates—actions and attitudes that are detestable to Him. Among these, we find "a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community."


These warnings are not just ancient words of caution; they are timeless truths that call us to examine the way we live, especially in our interactions with others, and particularly within the church.


"Causing Division is Like Murder"


The Word of God often likens the destructive power of the tongue to that of a weapon. James 3:6 reminds us that the tongue is a fire, capable of setting the course of life ablaze. When Proverbs speaks of stirring up conflict or causing division, it highlights the profound damage such behavior inflicts—not just on individuals but on the body of Christ as a whole.


Division in the church does more than create surface-level discord; it wounds hearts, fosters bitterness, and grieves the Holy Spirit. Causing division, especially through gossip, slander, or false accusations, is likened to murder in its effect—it kills trust, unity, and love among believers. Jesus called His followers to be peacemakers (Matthew 5:9), not sowers of discord. To go against this call is to oppose the very nature of God, who values unity and harmony in His family.


The Danger of Legalism and False Witness


Legalistic churches, often quick to judge, can become breeding grounds for gossip and false witness. When judgment replaces grace, and criticism outweighs compassion, the tongue becomes a tool of destruction rather than edification. Accusations—whether whispered in hallways, passed as "prayer requests," or spoken outright—can destroy a person's reputation and spirit.


Bearing false witness doesn’t always mean telling outright lies. It can include exaggerating faults, assuming motives, or twisting someone’s words to fit a narrative. This is especially dangerous in church settings where trust and fellowship are supposed to thrive. When the tongue is used to tear down rather than build up, the result is division—a sin God explicitly hates.


A Call to Guard Our Speech


Ephesians 4:29 instructs us to speak only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. To avoid the sin of causing division, we must be vigilant about our words:

  • Pause Before Speaking: Ask yourself, "Is what I am about to say true, kind, and necessary?"

  • Avoid Gossip: If a matter does not concern you directly or does not build up the person in question, leave it unsaid.

  • Confront in Love: If correction is needed, approach it with humility, grace, and love, following Matthew 18:15-17.


Walking in the Spirit of Unity


The Lord calls His people to unity (John 17:21). A divided church is a weakened church, one that cannot effectively bear witness to the world. As believers, we must remember that our words carry the power to bring life or death (Proverbs 18:21). Let us choose life by speaking words that encourage, heal, and unite.


A Prayer for Wisdom and Restraint


Heavenly Father,


Search our hearts and examine our words. Forgive us for the times we have used our tongues to harm rather than heal. Teach us to speak with grace, wisdom, and love, reflecting Your character in every conversation. May we be instruments of peace and unity in the body of Christ, and may our words always glorify You. Amen.

Let us guard our tongues, remembering that the Lord detests division. Instead, may we be ambassadors of reconciliation, peace, and grace, building a church that reflects the love of Christ.


If this applies to you and you need professional support to come alongside you in your healing journey, who has also been there, take that first step by reaching out to me to set up a time to discuss what that would look like and begin your BREAKTHROUGH to taking your life back and become the woman God created you to be.


Connie Wunderly, BSN, RN, NC-BC, BC-MHC



Board Certified Trauma Informed Nurse Coach

Christian Mental Health Coach (American Academy of Christian Counselors)

Certified Narcissistic Abuse Specialist

Certified Somatic Experiencing, Positive Psychology, & Brainspotting Practitioner

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