😡When Abuse Comes in Waves… It’s Not Confusion, It's Strategy🎯
- Apr 26
- 3 min read
One of the most disorienting dynamics in narcissistic emotional abuse is this:
They don’t just hurt you once… they stack offenses.
Multiple jabs.
Multiple accusations.
Multiple moments of disrespect — all at once.
Why?
Because it floods your nervous system.
Your body goes into overwhelm. Your mind can’t process fast enough. Your emotions get tangled. You feel confused, scattered, and unable to respond clearly.
And then… if you do try to bring up what happened?
They respond with defensiveness, sarcasm, or statements that twist reality-almost as if they agree with a distorted version of you:
“You’re right, I can’t do anything right.”
“I’m just the worst, aren’t I?”
This is not humility.
This is manipulation.
It is a deliberate tactic to:
➡️Gaslight you
➡️Invalidate your experience
➡️Shut down your voice
➡️Train you to stop bringing things up altogether
Over time, you begin to feel like:
➡️You can’t think straight
➡️You can’t sort through what’s real
➡️You can’t regulate your emotions
➡️You’re “too much” or “not enough” at the same time
This is not accidental.
This is the fruit of a spirit of chaos and confusion.
“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace…” — 1 Corinthians 14:33
Where there is constant confusion, emotional flooding, and mental fog —
that is not the Spirit of God at work.
The narcissistic spirit thrives in this environment.
It creates a fog that slowly drains:
➡️Your joy
➡️Your peace
➡️Your strength
➡️Your energy
➡️Your hope
➡️Your identity
Until you don’t even recognize yourself anymore.
This Is More Than “Toxic Behavior” — This Is Spiritual Warfare
The enemy doesn’t always attack from the outside.
Sometimes…
he sends a Trojan horse.
Someone who looks like:
➡️Love
➡️Leadership
➡️Protection
➡️Even “God’s will”
But operates in control, pride, deception, and destruction.
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against… spiritual wickedness…” — Ephesians 6:12
This is why so many find themselves entangled in these dynamics within marriages and close relationships.
Because if the enemy can’t stop your calling…
He will try to corrupt it from within.
He will try to:
➡️Silence your voice
➡️Break your spirit
➡️Distort your identity
➡️Destroy your assignment
Let’s Be Clear About What This Is NOT
This is NOT:
⚠️Victim mentality
⚠️Paranoia
⚠️An unwillingness to forgive or try harder
⚠️A lack of humility
⚠️This is not about refusing to love well.
⚠️This is about recognizing when love is being counterfeited.
“Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.” — 2 Corinthians 11:14
The enemy has a counterfeit for everything…
Including godly marriage.
And If It’s Not Addressed… It Will Destroy from the Inside Out
Unchecked, this dynamic erodes:
❗️Faith
❗️Identity in Christ
❗️Emotional and mental health
❗️Purpose and calling
“The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy…” — John 10:10
And often… he does it quietly, over time, through confusion instead of confrontation.
But There IS a Way to Overcome
And it doesn’t start with denial.
It doesn’t start with minimizing.
It doesn’t start with fear.
It starts with AWARENESS!
Awareness says:
🗣“This is not healthy.”
🗣“This is not from God.”
🗣“I am not crazy.”
🗣“I see what’s happening.”
Because once you can see clearly…
You can begin to:
🙌Regulate your nervous system
🙌Reconnect with truth
🙌Set godly boundaries
Walk in wisdom and discernment
🙌Reclaim your identity in Christ
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32
You are not called to live in confusion.
You are not called to be silenced.
You are not called to be slowly destroyed in the name of “love.”
You are called to walk in:
🩷Truth
🩷Freedom
🩷Peace
🩷Clarity
🩷Authority in Christ
And the first step…
Is seeing clearly what’s really happening.
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